RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION
Alice, the long suffering clone warrior of Umbrella Corporation, is thrown back into battle with the hordes of zombies created by Umbrella. Captured by the corporation, she is then freed by an unlikely friend, who informs her of a strike team coming to help her. As she makes her way to rendezvous with the strike team, she finds help in the form of rogue Umbrella agent Ada Wong, who helps her to combat the waves of zombies and nasty creatures chasing them. It's now up to them to escape before the facility explodes and buries them all forever.
OK so I had a hard time writing that synopsis. I'm not usually that bad at recalling a films plot or the intricate details that outline the reasons why I did or didn't like the film. But with this movie, the 5th installment of the video game based franchise, I seriously had to search the very depths of my (admittedly small) brain before I found any memory of this film. This should give you a tiny indication of how this review is going to go.
This film has managed to achieve something I never thought was possible after watching any of the Twilight movies, or Disaster Movie. This film has managed to achieve an entirely new level of crap! I had already realized that this franchise was taking ideas from the rapidly expanding series of video games, the tentacle mouthed zombies (it's as weird as it sounds), the axe-wielding giant and indeed the brilliantly evil Wesker. However, what I didn't realize was that Paul Anderson (the director of all things silly) had completely run out of ideas, even when consulting the games, and had just decided to make a "greatest hits" movie consisting of practically nothing original. As the film went on, my jaw was gradually pulled towards the floor in sheer astonishment that I was watching possibly the most unoriginal film I've seen in, well, ever! From the enemies to the sets, right down to some of the characters, the amount of material scraped together from the previous films is staggering, bordering on impressive.
The plot is a rehash of the first film, underground base that Alice needs to escape from. The enemies consist of zombies (who can now run, OMG!), a fully mutated creature from the first film, plus the aforementioned axe wielding giants, among other, more human, gun-toting enemies. True, there are some new characters introduced, Ada Wong and Leon Kennedy make brief appearances throughout the film, but they're masked by the constant repetition on show, leaving them shallow, 1 dimensional and utterly boring, purely existing as a way to tie the film back to the video game franchise. Nothing changes about Alice as well, and the way in which she is freed from the facility is very confusing. Oh sod it I may as well tell you. Wesker sets her free and is now apparently a good guy. I know, how the hell did that happen? He was the big bad evil in the last installment and now he's had a HUGE change of heart. HOW? Ugh, moving on...
This film is making me incredibly angry, more so than any other film has done in a long time (until I inevitably see the last Twilight film), and it's all because of the stunning lengths this film has gone to to be the most unoriginal movie ever made. True, there are glimmers of new threats, zombies with guns being the highlight of the new ideas the director's grabbed frantically at, but it's really not enough to save this awful re-run of sets, characters, creatures, plot devices and dull, lifeless CGI from scraping the ground where the barrel used to be. This is the new standard for which truly awful films are made.
Until the next Twilight.
Score: 0.5/10
Well that's that review out of the way. I say that, I really loved doing that one, because it is somehow more satisfying to review a bad film than a brilliant one. It shouldn't work like that, but somehow it does. And by the way, for whoever is reading my articles, THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them and I would urge you to write comments on any of the things I've posted. I would love to hear from all of you reading these mindless reviews, suggesting things for me to watch or commenting on the films I've reviewed. Come on, get involved guys!
Until next time internet!
This film has managed to achieve something I never thought was possible after watching any of the Twilight movies, or Disaster Movie. This film has managed to achieve an entirely new level of crap! I had already realized that this franchise was taking ideas from the rapidly expanding series of video games, the tentacle mouthed zombies (it's as weird as it sounds), the axe-wielding giant and indeed the brilliantly evil Wesker. However, what I didn't realize was that Paul Anderson (the director of all things silly) had completely run out of ideas, even when consulting the games, and had just decided to make a "greatest hits" movie consisting of practically nothing original. As the film went on, my jaw was gradually pulled towards the floor in sheer astonishment that I was watching possibly the most unoriginal film I've seen in, well, ever! From the enemies to the sets, right down to some of the characters, the amount of material scraped together from the previous films is staggering, bordering on impressive.
The plot is a rehash of the first film, underground base that Alice needs to escape from. The enemies consist of zombies (who can now run, OMG!), a fully mutated creature from the first film, plus the aforementioned axe wielding giants, among other, more human, gun-toting enemies. True, there are some new characters introduced, Ada Wong and Leon Kennedy make brief appearances throughout the film, but they're masked by the constant repetition on show, leaving them shallow, 1 dimensional and utterly boring, purely existing as a way to tie the film back to the video game franchise. Nothing changes about Alice as well, and the way in which she is freed from the facility is very confusing. Oh sod it I may as well tell you. Wesker sets her free and is now apparently a good guy. I know, how the hell did that happen? He was the big bad evil in the last installment and now he's had a HUGE change of heart. HOW? Ugh, moving on...
This film is making me incredibly angry, more so than any other film has done in a long time (until I inevitably see the last Twilight film), and it's all because of the stunning lengths this film has gone to to be the most unoriginal movie ever made. True, there are glimmers of new threats, zombies with guns being the highlight of the new ideas the director's grabbed frantically at, but it's really not enough to save this awful re-run of sets, characters, creatures, plot devices and dull, lifeless CGI from scraping the ground where the barrel used to be. This is the new standard for which truly awful films are made.
Until the next Twilight.
Score: 0.5/10
Well that's that review out of the way. I say that, I really loved doing that one, because it is somehow more satisfying to review a bad film than a brilliant one. It shouldn't work like that, but somehow it does. And by the way, for whoever is reading my articles, THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them and I would urge you to write comments on any of the things I've posted. I would love to hear from all of you reading these mindless reviews, suggesting things for me to watch or commenting on the films I've reviewed. Come on, get involved guys!
Until next time internet!
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