REVIEW: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) leads a peaceful and quiet life in the Shire, but when an old wizard named Gandalf (Ian McKellen) introduces him to a band of Dwarves, his life is quickly turned upside down. The Dwarves, led by the fearless Thorin (Richard Armitage), enlist him in their quest to take back their fortress home, buried deep inside a lonely mountain. The fortress was forcibly taken by the demonic dragon Smaug, who now resides there amongst a mountain of golden treasures. As they set off for the fortress, they quickly realise that they are not the only ones heading for the fortress, and that dark forces are hunting them.

Now I should preface this review by saying that I have never read the book. In fact, I've never read any Tolkien, but according to some, I'm not missing out on much. I have however, seen the live action films that Peter Jackson made some years ago (though I haven’t bothered to sit through all the extended cuts yet). Now whilst I was curious about The Hobbit being made into a film, once I found out it was going to be another 3 films, I quickly lost what little interest I had. So, why did I end up seeing the film? A good question, because after seeing it I'm not really sure what all the fuss is about.

After initially watching the film, I sat down to look at the respective lengths of all the LOTR books and how they translated into film running time. A pointless exercise really, but Jackson has come under heavy fire for deciding to turn this book into 3 films. The first part of Jackson’s new trilogy comes in at 169 minutes (2 hours 49 minutes), with the book being 310 pages. Right here is where we have the first problem. The LOTR books have a total of 1571 pages and a combined theatrical running time of 558 minutes (I'm excluding the extended editions, because I'm not really that bothered about them). Doing some basic math (which is probably wrong) we find that we get through 2.8 pages per minute of film. That was for 3 books, but here, we’re roughly looking at a third of a book. That’s about 103 pages. Over 169 minutes, that means we’re only getting through 0.6 pages per minute of film. Ok, pointless maths bit is over, and it basically boils down to me saying that this film is extremely long and really doesn't have enough material to pad it out with.

There was a common joke about the LOTR films that they were basically tourist adverts for New Zealand, and the same jokes could pretty much be made again, except this time it’s nowhere near as funny. If I were to guess, I’d say a good 10 to 20 minutes of the film is just made up of long sweeping shots of the gang walking/running across various parts of New Zealand. Of course it looks very pretty, but that’s not really what I came to see. I came to see a Hobbit, some Dwarves and a Wizard, fight off hordes of monsters on a quest to take back their fortress from a powerful and evil dragon! Instead I get to see the many and varied natural wonders of New Zealand. Over 3 films. Which will probably all be just under 3 hours long. Cheers Peter Jackson. Even when we’re treated to an action scene, where some Orcs relentlessly hunt down our plucky heroes, Jackson can’t help but pad it out with many long, sweeping shots of the gang running across the same bit of countryside, in different directions...HOW EXCITING! As you can guess, it quickly gets very tedious.

If Jackson insists on padding this film out to within an inch of its life, then he could have at least attempted to pad it out where it would have been entertaining for the audiences. For example, why is there no fight between the Goblin king and Thorin/Gandalf? Why is there no fight between Thorin and the White Orc (technically there is, but it’s over in 10 seconds)? Actually, why is there hardly any fighting at all! When there is a fight, it involves everyone, and it’s incredibly hard to tell what the hell is going on! I was in a constant state of “hang on, which Dwarf is that? Where’s (random character) gone? How did that enemy get over there so fast?” any time they decided to draw their swords and take down something vaguely evil in their way. It’s an ugly mess of swords, shields and screaming and it doesn't make for entertaining cinema.

Moving on, we come to a big problem I have with the Tolkien world in general. Name dropping. Too many times during all the films, there will be characters involved in conversation and they will start spouting stuff like “You remember A, son of B, brother of C and second cousin of D”. Neither B, C nor D will have been seen at any time, but this name dropping immediately makes character A infinitely more important, because of the greatness of B, C and D. There are numerous incidents of this happening in The Hobbit, and it means absolutely nothing to a regular movie goer like me. Of course it must mean worlds to the fans, but it just becomes yet another annoying feature that drags me out of the magical world this film could potentially suck me into.

However, for all the bad points this film has, there are some rays of hope shining through. The special effects are incredibly good and the film does look spectacular. The Orcs and Goblins look particularly creepy, and add a much needed sense of menace to this otherwise docile film. The frame rate problem is noticeable, but it didn't hurt my eyes half as much as watching a 3D film. The acting is good, Martin Freeman gives it his best and Ian McKellen seems to enjoy himself playing Gandalf again. The likes of Ian Holm, Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving are all welcome and add a little bit of variety and familiarity to the film, but overall the acting is just ok, nothing spectacular. The one thing I do remember fondly from the film is Gollum. No, really, he’s actually good in this film. The LOTR Gollum did start to get a little annoying after a while, but this time around he’s more feral, violent and dare I say it, scary! He’s let down slightly by the lengthy riddle scene, but his dual personality, his violent nature, and his obsession with the ring are brilliantly highlighted in this film, and Andy Serkis plays him perfectly. I'm hoping he will be in the upcoming sequels, because this new take on Gollum is one of the best things about the film.

Another great thing about the film? The White Orc. I can’t remember the actual name of him (and I don’t really care that much to be honest), but what I do remember is that this guy is an almighty bad-ass  As he quickly becomes the main bad guy of the film (Smaug, who’s Smaug?) we’re treated to a dark and purely evil villain, who’s brilliantly animated and manages to pull the waning attention of the audience (or me at least) back into the film. I actually liked the White Orc so much; I started praying that Jackson wouldn't kill him off, like he was the Darth Maul of Middle Earth. Thankfully they didn't and he lives to hopefully get more screen time in the next two films.

I feel like I'm running out of steam and that this review may have to come to a slightly abrupt end. I don’t think I've said all I need to say about this film, but that’s going to have to do. One thing’s for certain, this is definitely going to be one of the biggest film franchises of the next few years and now I've seen one, I have to see them all. I'm not really happy about that though.

Filming a third of a 300 page book always seemed like a stupid idea, and the results are as expected. Jackson’s introduction to The Hobbit is dull, overly long, confusing and just nowhere near as exciting and thrilling as it potentially could have been. Incredibly disappointing! Score: 2.9/10