This article will start with one of the more memorable films I've seen in the last few weeks. Memorable for all sorts of reasons, this is...
THE EXPENDABLES 2
Years after the events of the first movie, Stallone and his macho men (who really cares about character names in a film like this?) are hired by Bruce Willis to track down blueprints to an old Russian mine that was thought never to have existed. On completing the mission, they are ambushed by the brutal Jean-Claude Van Damme, who steals the plans and kills one of their team. Now out for revenge, Stallone enlists the help of Willis, the deadly Nan Yu and even the legendary Schwarzenegger, to track Van Damme down and stop him selling dangerous cargo to the wrong people.
Now whilst a constant stream of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA doesn't make for good review material, it does actually describe how I felt viewing this film. However, I shall try and describe this film in other means. If you have seen the first one then you will have already geared yourself up for more stupidly over the top action sequences peppered with cheesy and cliched one liners. There are tons of explosions, gunfights, cheesy lines and decent fight scenes thrown into the 90 minutes of macho madness we are dealt with, but my initial impressions after finishing this film, was that this movie that set out to be the ultimate portrayal of bad-ass action heroes ever made, had missed a few tricks.
Firstly, we have the introduction of a kick-ass kung-fu heroin in this film. Why you ask? Because despite being better in 5 minutes of this installment than in the entirety of the first one, Jet Li dives out of the film the first chance he gets and doesn't come back. It's confusing yes, but if you're going to replace Li with a kick-ass female counterpart, then Nan Yu (however awesome she is in this film) wouldn't have been my first choice. The obvious choice for the role would have been the legendary Michelle Yeoh, who's produced some stunning martial arts films throughout the years and has made the transition to Hollywood with great success. Alternatively, you have the Taiwanese death dealer JeeJa Yanin, who's debut in Chocolate (made by the Ong Bak team) should have made her another big contender. But I don't hold anything against Nan Yu as when she does get the opportunity to beat up the bad guys, she does so with brutal force and exhilarating creativity.
The second thing the film makers missed was the failure to include the B-movie legend Steven Segal in all the chaos! This is even more surprising when you consider that another B-movie legend, Mr. Van Damme plays the main bad guy throughout the film. How hard could that have been to write into the film? Instead of a pretty good fight between Stallone and Van Damme at the end, you could have a potentially earth-shattering battle between these two giants! Well, it may not be earth shattering, b hey, you know it would fit right into this film and give it a well deserved boost. Sadly though, there is no Steven Segal, so the film has to do without and quite frankly, it does pretty well without him.
The addition of a few new faces into the mix definitely helps move the film along. Along with the regulars, such as Stallone, Statham, Lundgren and Willis, we're joined by legends such as Schwarzenegger, Van Damme and best of all, Chuck Norris. Yes you read that right. Chuck FREAKING Norris! He's not in it for a lot and apparently, he's the reason why this film is only a 15 (though I had heard he wanted it to be a 12 or maybe even a PG originally, because he doesn't act in films with lots of swearing or something along those lines), but when he is in it, he does everything you'd expect him to, except roundhouse kicking people in the face. Sadly there's none of that.
Ok, so we've talked about the things they've missed and the people that they've added to make the film even more kick-ass than is legally acceptable, but what about the actual film? How does that shape up to modern action films that are released today? Well, it's actually not that bad. The action is fairly cliched yes, but it handles it with such gusto and pride in what it's doing that you can't really help but admire it's bravery. There are few films nowadays that are so senseless and pointless with their film making that they often get pushed to the sidelines, but The Expendables 2 is a film that knows it's being stupid, macho, pointless and insanely ridiculous all at the same time, and gives the audiences exactly what they expect. The action scenes are completely bonkers, the fights are brutal and nicely choreographed, the acting is bad and hilarious in equal measures, and the plot is completely unnecessary for a film such as this. All these things combine to give the audience something they haven't experienced in a long time, an explosive ride of sheer joy, for them to relive the times when action films were a nonsensical roller-coaster of bullets, explosions and not-so-witty jokes. Actions movies are rarely as entertaining as this. Well done guys! Well done!
Score: 8.5/10
Thanks for tuning in and reading this review! Trust me there are a lot more to come, but with Christmas just around the corner, they may be a long time in the making. Until next time interwebbers!
Firstly, we have the introduction of a kick-ass kung-fu heroin in this film. Why you ask? Because despite being better in 5 minutes of this installment than in the entirety of the first one, Jet Li dives out of the film the first chance he gets and doesn't come back. It's confusing yes, but if you're going to replace Li with a kick-ass female counterpart, then Nan Yu (however awesome she is in this film) wouldn't have been my first choice. The obvious choice for the role would have been the legendary Michelle Yeoh, who's produced some stunning martial arts films throughout the years and has made the transition to Hollywood with great success. Alternatively, you have the Taiwanese death dealer JeeJa Yanin, who's debut in Chocolate (made by the Ong Bak team) should have made her another big contender. But I don't hold anything against Nan Yu as when she does get the opportunity to beat up the bad guys, she does so with brutal force and exhilarating creativity.
The second thing the film makers missed was the failure to include the B-movie legend Steven Segal in all the chaos! This is even more surprising when you consider that another B-movie legend, Mr. Van Damme plays the main bad guy throughout the film. How hard could that have been to write into the film? Instead of a pretty good fight between Stallone and Van Damme at the end, you could have a potentially earth-shattering battle between these two giants! Well, it may not be earth shattering, b hey, you know it would fit right into this film and give it a well deserved boost. Sadly though, there is no Steven Segal, so the film has to do without and quite frankly, it does pretty well without him.
The addition of a few new faces into the mix definitely helps move the film along. Along with the regulars, such as Stallone, Statham, Lundgren and Willis, we're joined by legends such as Schwarzenegger, Van Damme and best of all, Chuck Norris. Yes you read that right. Chuck FREAKING Norris! He's not in it for a lot and apparently, he's the reason why this film is only a 15 (though I had heard he wanted it to be a 12 or maybe even a PG originally, because he doesn't act in films with lots of swearing or something along those lines), but when he is in it, he does everything you'd expect him to, except roundhouse kicking people in the face. Sadly there's none of that.
Ok, so we've talked about the things they've missed and the people that they've added to make the film even more kick-ass than is legally acceptable, but what about the actual film? How does that shape up to modern action films that are released today? Well, it's actually not that bad. The action is fairly cliched yes, but it handles it with such gusto and pride in what it's doing that you can't really help but admire it's bravery. There are few films nowadays that are so senseless and pointless with their film making that they often get pushed to the sidelines, but The Expendables 2 is a film that knows it's being stupid, macho, pointless and insanely ridiculous all at the same time, and gives the audiences exactly what they expect. The action scenes are completely bonkers, the fights are brutal and nicely choreographed, the acting is bad and hilarious in equal measures, and the plot is completely unnecessary for a film such as this. All these things combine to give the audience something they haven't experienced in a long time, an explosive ride of sheer joy, for them to relive the times when action films were a nonsensical roller-coaster of bullets, explosions and not-so-witty jokes. Actions movies are rarely as entertaining as this. Well done guys! Well done!
Score: 8.5/10
Thanks for tuning in and reading this review! Trust me there are a lot more to come, but with Christmas just around the corner, they may be a long time in the making. Until next time interwebbers!
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