Hello there internet people, welcome to the first main article of the new Movie Notebook. On this particular outing I'll be counting down my top 5 favorite hand held horror movies, and also highlighting some of the worst the genre has offered over the years.
For those of you scratching your head and wondering "Hand held horrors", let me briefly explain what I mean by this alliterative title. A Hand Held Horror is what I (and I'm sure many others) use to describe films such as The Blair Witch Project or [.REC], films that use a hand held camera to give the audience a first person perspective on the terrifying events that unfold on screen, placing you in the position of one of the characters.
There have been several amazing films which have utilized this simple film making procedure to great effect. There have also been some insanely dull and repetitive franchises born out of HHH films (yeah, let's abbreviate it to that for now). So let's firstly have a look at those films that really should have just stayed out of cinemas all together and headed straight for the bargain bin.
THE WORST HHH FILMS I'VE SEEN:
5) V/H/S - This was a difficult choice for me to make. Putting V/H/S on the worst films list is something I initially didn't want to do, but after thinking about it for a while, I just couldn't bring myself to like it. V/H/S follows a group of burglars who are hired by some anonymous third party to steal a precious VHS tape from a remote house. Upon arriving, they discover a dead body, a roster of TV's and an infinite supply of VHS tapes. One by one they examine some of the tapes, to find strange and gruesome events occurring on each of them. Now the reason it's on the bottom of the worst films list, is that there were some stories that I actually enjoyed and that genuinely chilled me, but most of the time, this was a dull and pointless collection of slightly imaginative short stories. I had heard good things about this film, but I have fallen prey to media hype before, and this is another example of a bad film wrapped in a lot of positive media attention. Score: 4.0/10
4) THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT - Not the most controversial choice on this list, but one that, in my opinion, needs to be on here all the same. TBWP follows three students making a documentary on The Blair Witch, a local urban legend. Heading into the forest to try and capture some evidence of the witch, they soon discover that the legend may be real after all. This will have been the HHH film that most people saw first and almost certainly the one that boosted the genre back into popularity. However, watching it again recently, I wasn't really scared by it at all, and believe me, I get scared incredibly easily. The only real scare that came from this was the last 15-20 minutes. If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm on about. Apart from that though, there wasn't anything to get my nerves shaking at all. Disappointing to say the least. Score: 3.0/10
3) QUARANTINE - Possibly the most uninspired and boring film on this list, Quarantine is a shot for shot remake of the amazing Spanish horror [.REC] (see below), which follows a group of Los Angeles residents who are exposed to a horrific virus which turns them into rampaging zombies. There's not a lot to say about this film, other than it's one of the most uninspiring remakes ever conceived. Remakes in general are some of the lowest forms of films I've ever seen, but this was pure bottom of the barrel horror. Not scary, not entertaining, not worth bothering with. Score: 2.3/10
2) APOLLO 18 - Now this was a film I reviewed for a YouTube show I did with my good friend Anthony at the start of the year. If you want to see that, search up Film Focus and find the Apollo 18 episode. Basically, the film is "found footage" of the Apollo space mission that "never happened", with 3 astronauts getting spooked by some mysterious activity on the surface of the moon. I was incredibly interested to see this film, but as the film went on I quickly realized that Apollo 18 was going nowhere fast, and it most certainly wasn't going to scare me as much as I'd hoped. And as for the big reveal as to what is happening to the astronauts, don't get me started, it's probably one of the worst threats I've seen in any film, ever. Score: 1.5/10
1) PARANORMAL ACTIVITY - Now here is a controversial decision, but that's not the reason it's my worst HHH film. I don't think I've ever been less scared by a film in my entire life. The hype surrounding this film was enough to generate 3 sequels, the most recent of which has just been released (or is being released very soon), all of which were just as pointless and dull as the first. I must admit that the film is well made. Watching the first one in high definition with 5.1 surround sound, I could appreciate that a lot of time and effort had gone into making the film as atmospheric as possible. But even with all that effort, the film was just a series of jump scares that could be seen coming a mile off. I couldn't believe that this film was considered one of the best horror films of the past 10 years, because quite frankly, it was truly terrible. Score: 1.0/10
And now we'll move on to the 5 films that have scared me senseless.
THE BEST HHH FILMS I'VE SEEN:
5) THE DINOSAUR PROJECT - Now this is a weird choice for the list. Not necessarily a major horror film, but an interesting and entertaining hand held film nonetheless. I've always been a big fan of anything related to dinosaurs, so this was a must-see for me, but I couldn't really prepare myself for what lay ahead. A noted explorer's latest mission is to find evidence of Congo's version of the Loch Ness Monster. When his crew and his son, stowed away on the plane, crash land in the middle of the jungle, they begin to search for help, but instead run into a hidden world where dinosaurs are still alive. They must now survive as they are ruthlessly hunted by the bloodthirsty prehistoric beasts. I will admit that this film is no Jurassic Park, but putting that aside, this is a fascinating, wholly entertaining and deeply thrilling adventure with some great scares, some neat camera work (which is always odd for a HHH to have) and a whole heap of wondrous special effects. I was blown away by this tense and exhilarating action flick, seek it out and enjoy! Score: 7.8/10
4) DIARY OF THE DEAD - Romero's 5th zombie flick sees the apocalypse starting again with a group of students caught in the hysteria. Armed with a couple of high tech camcorders, the group of terrified teens travel across America trying to find some sort of help from friends and family. Romero's entry into the HHH genre flipped a few things around with the tried and tested formula. The introduction of multiple cameras and surveillance footage is used to great effect to give multiple angles of the zombie action. Combined with Romero's usual social commentary, this time (surprisingly enough) about the YouTube generation, the film turns out to be a thought provoking and suspenseful thrill ride. I've always been a fan of Romero's "Dead" franchise, but this is definitely one of the most unique and intriguing films he's made. Score: 8.3/10
3) GRAVE ENCOUNTERS - This one came to me almost completely out of the blue, but the premise was good enough to warrant a viewing. Taking the concept of programs like Most Haunted, the film follows a group of "paranormal investigators" filming a show called Grave Encounters. In their 6th episode, they travel to an insane asylum, hoping to con the audience of their show into believing that the collection of buildings they're filming in is haunted. Unfortunately for them, the building is actually haunted by some weird and brutally scary ghosts. Now I had seen 1 trailer for this film before heading into the actual experience, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that 90% of the scares in this film were not shown in that trailer, meaning that a lot of this film was completely new and unexpected. The scares are fresh, tense and nerve shattering, the effects are creepy and the combined use of torches and night vision cameras means that you never know what to expect. It may have been helped by the tongue in cheek aspect of the premise, but this was a genuinely scary and very effective HHH film. Well worth the time. Score: 8.8/10
2) THE TUNNEL - Now this film was a complete blast! I had no idea this film existed until about a week before writing this article. This is a completely independent Australian horror, funded by public donations (I'm assuming, that's what was implied in the credits). Despite it's ultra low budget feel, this is one of the most horrifying and unsettling films I have seen in, oh I don't know, MY ENTIRE LIFE! The film follows a news team looking for a big story to solidify their status at the company. This leads them to a story concerning a homeless population in the disused railway tunnels underneath Sydney. As the team try to find the homeless population to make their story, they become aware of something far more sinister lurking in the darkness. Ok, plot summary is over, now on to my delusion rantings about how incredible this film is. Holy mother of god was this film scary!!!!! Apart from the top film on this list, I don't remember a film that has scared me so deeply I cannot even attempt to go to sleep after watching it. The tension is undeniable, the claustrophobic nature of the underground tunnels is even more intense than the caves of The Descent, and the creature....well, I can't even tell you how terrifying that monstrosity is! Out of all the movie monsters ever made, The Tunnel has one of the most heartless, ruthless and nerve shattering enemies of all time. You need to see this film, RIGHT NOW! Score: 9.0/10
1) [.REC] - The best film on the list could never have been anything else. When I first came up with the idea of this top 5, this film was always going to be number 1. I first saw this film about 5 years ago, maybe less, I can't remember. What I do remember however, is my family begging me to see this movie. I traveled down from uni to see this film and I do not regret it at all. The film follows a local news reporter, who is reporting on the activities of the city fire department during one of their night shifts. When the fire crew gets called to an emergency at an apartment block, they arrive promptly and quickly begin to assess the situation. But things are not as easy as they seem, for inside the apartment block, a deadly virus has been unleashed, the kind that turns normal people into bloodthirsty maniacs. Now the reporter and her fire crew escorts must find a way to survive the night, whilst the government puts the building under quarantine. There are no words to describe how amazingly horrifying this film is! But i'm going to try and put it into words here. The confined space in which the film takes place is expertly set up, so that you know where every character is at every moment in the film. Saying that, the acting is superb, each character is well defined and when they (inevitably) die, you do actually care. The scares are expertly crafted, sometimes building the tension and suspense to the point where you are screaming at the TV due to your nerves being shredded into microscopic fibers but sometimes they just take you completely by surprise in the middle of seemingly safe conversations. This film never fails to surprise me, and I have seen it at least 5 times in as many years and it has never failed to terrify me to the core. If I was to compile a top 5 best horror films of all time (not just hand held), this would definitely make the list, and I would not be surprised if, after considering every other film I've seen, that this wouldn't make number 1 on the list. Controversial I know, but I do not know of a film that I have seen time and time again that has manged to scare me so much after so many repeated viewings. Alien comes extremely close, but [.REC] is the film that I will go to if I need a night of insomnia. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not, but it makes an incredibly satisfying horror experience, and one that I will never forget for as long as I live! Score: 10/10
If you have read this far I applaud you, and I hope you will be tuning in during the rest of this week for reviews of some of the random films I am watching at the moment. If you have any suggestions as to what I need to write reviews on or do a Top 5 list of, then please leave them in the comments and I will do them, even if it's not in my best interests....
Thank you for reading this article everyone, I'll see you all very soon.
Fred out!
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